It really must!
Last year many of you were generous enough to support my IndieGogo campaign to buy equipment to start my own webseries. With that money I got a camera, software, a microphone, and some other accessories. (I already have a green screen and am trying to figure out what one does with footage shot in front of it.)
Since then a lot of you have asked me when the show will be up and running. And the answer is... I hope very soon.
I could tell you that I started a new job a month ago and have been adjusting to a new schedule, and that I'm trying to do home repairs and eventually move, and that there have been various other distractions. And all of that is true. But the simple truth is that the hold up boils down to one thing:
I have no idea what I'm doing.
I've never done this before! I've never used a camera this advanced, or edited footage beyond that one vlog that one time, or used a green screen, or converted screencaptures to footage, or, or or... and it's all sort of intimidating and overwhelming. And when I get intimidated and overwhelmed I have this awful habit of procrastinating. Aaaaaaand that's really what's been going on. I've been looking at all this stuff and tinkering with it and then going OMG SCARY! and backing off.
Which is pretty silly, isn't it? There's only one way to figure out how to do this, and that's by doing it.
So I'm making a game plan. I'm making up a list of dumb questions to ask the producers I know. I'm reading user's manuals (exciting!). I may do some off-the-cuff livestreaming to try and tinker at some point.
And with any luck this will yield a web series for all of you to heckle and/or enjoy pretty soon. My goal date is to have something to show you by the 4th of July. That gives me a month and a half to do some studying and make something. And maybe that something will even be half decent!
I also have about six or seven blog posts kicking around my head that I haven't written because I don't spend nearly as much time at the computer as I used to these days. (And yes, the meatspace is scary. But sometimes it's also fun and sometimes it also pays you money. Sometimes both.) But I'm going to try and update this little corner of the internet more often as well.
All of that said, thank you again for your generosity and patience. I shall endeavor to make it worth your while in as many non-porny ways as I can muster.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Oz is so pretty, oh so pretty... vacant.
It's rare for me to go to a movie and not enjoy something about it. I'll happily re-watch movies I know to be terrible because they're aesthetically interesting to me (see: Hannibal), or because the lead actor makes great eye candy and there are some great performances wrapped in crap (see: Wolverine: Origins), or because they're just ridiculous and fun (see: Shoot 'Em Up, Bring It On, Transporter 2). Most of the time I can find something about a movie to enjoy. So it was a weird feeling to be sitting in that theater last night feeling completely disconnected. Bored, even. The Land of Oz should never be boring, and neither should anything involving Sam Raimi and/or Rachel Weisz. But this movie somehow manages to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
From here on in there will be spoilers, so consider the page break your warning. Follow the yellow brick road at your own peril...
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Irish Fairy Tales
I mentioned in an earlier post that I took a trip to Ireland late last year. If you're lucky enough to have been to Ireland you know what a beautiful place it is. But even if you haven't visited you're probably aware of Ireland's rich history of folklore and storytelling. And it just so happens that on our trip, we created a few stories of our own.
I promised my mother I would write these down for her. I've been slacking on doing so. So, Mom: sorry this took so long! I hope I did justice to these fun anecdotes from our trip.
The cemetery is very old, and sits in a quiet little section of Adare away from the tourist destinations and shops. The church around which the graveyard sits has long since crumbled to ruins, and for years the place was overgrown with brush and greenery.
Only recently has the old cemetery been cleared – and that is, perhaps, how the Ghost escaped.
You wouldn't expect a German ghost in a small Irish cemetery. And though you'll hear many stories of how he came to be there, no one person can say for sure. All that is known is that on one grey, windy day, the tumbled tombstones inside the crumbled church were disturbed.
It was quiet enough at first that you could easily think you had imagined the sound, or that the wind had rattled something and caused the noise. But soon the quiet mutterings grew louder and there could be no mistake. Something was awake inside...
The clouds darkened, and the wind whipped, and a lonely face appeared between the stones of one long-fallen wall.
"I'm a long way from home," you might have heard him say, if you were close enough. (Or you might not. The voices of ghosts are soft and easily carried away on the breeze.) "How will I get out of here?"
And the Gruber Ghost began to climb. He tested each wall, until finally he found a very tiny opening that spilled out onto a very tiny path.
And the Gruber Ghost began to crawl, and to squeeze, and finally he tumbled to the ground.
And had you been there, you may have seen the clouds part just the slightest bit. You may have seen the sun break through for a few seconds between drizzles of rain. You may have felt the gusts calm to a quiet whisper of a breeze carrying a lost traveler home.
I promised my mother I would write these down for her. I've been slacking on doing so. So, Mom: sorry this took so long! I hope I did justice to these fun anecdotes from our trip.
The Gruber Ghost of Adare
Only recently has the old cemetery been cleared – and that is, perhaps, how the Ghost escaped.
You wouldn't expect a German ghost in a small Irish cemetery. And though you'll hear many stories of how he came to be there, no one person can say for sure. All that is known is that on one grey, windy day, the tumbled tombstones inside the crumbled church were disturbed.
It was quiet enough at first that you could easily think you had imagined the sound, or that the wind had rattled something and caused the noise. But soon the quiet mutterings grew louder and there could be no mistake. Something was awake inside...
"I'm a long way from home," you might have heard him say, if you were close enough. (Or you might not. The voices of ghosts are soft and easily carried away on the breeze.) "How will I get out of here?"
And the Gruber Ghost began to climb. He tested each wall, until finally he found a very tiny opening that spilled out onto a very tiny path.
And the Gruber Ghost began to crawl, and to squeeze, and finally he tumbled to the ground.
And had you been there, you may have seen the clouds part just the slightest bit. You may have seen the sun break through for a few seconds between drizzles of rain. You may have felt the gusts calm to a quiet whisper of a breeze carrying a lost traveler home.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
A Brief Interlude
I do not like you, 50 Shades.
There are far superior marital aids.
I do not like your hacky prose,
In fact I think it really blows.
And though I would like slimmer hips,
I doubt I'll get them by biting my lips.
So take this "workout" thing and shove it –
even if the sheltered housewives love it.
I do not like you, 50 Shades of Grey,
When oh when will you go away?!
(Actual content coming later this week. Promise.)
There are far superior marital aids.
I do not like your hacky prose,
In fact I think it really blows.
And though I would like slimmer hips,
I doubt I'll get them by biting my lips.
So take this "workout" thing and shove it –
even if the sheltered housewives love it.
I do not like you, 50 Shades of Grey,
When oh when will you go away?!
(Actual content coming later this week. Promise.)
Thursday, December 13, 2012
And I'm ready to suffer, and I'm ready to hope.
This last week has been a total roller coaster. And while I'd love to go into specifics, since writing about things is sort of how I process and organize them and make sense of this big crazy world as best I can, pretty much everything going on is of a nature too private for blogging. (I know this seems like a weird thing to say given that I've written several detailed posts about the state of my mental illness. But there are some things even I won't broadcast to the open internet. Plus those posts had the capacity to incite helpful discussion, where going on about my current state of affairs would really just be airing dirty laundry.) Suffice to say I've hit some euphoric highs and some crushing lows, and it's all been sort of mentally exhausting, especially coupled with working retail at The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.
And all of that sort of got me thinking. 2012 has been a rough year. I have this ridiculous apocalypse phobia – always have. Since I was a kid I worried senselessly about seeing the End of Days and being crippled with fear as the skies go black and the seas boil. (I was a melodramatic kid.) So you can imagine how awesome all this Mayan calendar business has been for me. And since I am also blessed with an advanced case of apophenia, every time some lunatic shoots up a public place or a massive hurricane devastates some place or someone starts making nuclear threats the shiny red CRAZY button in the back of my head gets hit.
There's a point to this rambling, I promise.
Is the world ending? Probably not. But in a lot of ways, my personal world as I knew it ended in 2012. I lost my father. The end of my marriage was finalized. Other little things along the way. 2012 was a year of (often painful) endings for me.
So with that in mind, Ive decided to approach this "phoenix in the ashes" style and make 2013 a year of beginnings. I've taken a few hits and been surprised at the fact that I was able to pick myself up and dust myself off. But before my standard of living somehow gets stuck on survive, I want to take charge a little. There are things I want to do. There are things I need to do.
I've never been big on New Year's Resolutions. There's no real reason for this; I'm not morally opposed to them or anything. I just don't do them. So this isn't a list of New Year's Resolutions. This is just... a wish list of sorts, I guess. But it's the kind of wish list where no one can really give you the gifts on it but yourself.
• I need to move! I'm too far from my family, and that needs to change. This one involves a lot of work, but it's time to get to it.
• I have a web series to get off the ground! This one terrifies me, as I know not the first thing about scripting, filming, or editing such a thing. But I've got tons of support of which I shall endeavor to prove worthy. First step is learn how to use this cool-looking camera I now own...
• I need to be a better daughter/sister/aunt. Family, I love you. I don't see you enough, or help you enough, or call enough. You've all been there for me when I needed it and I can never really tell you how grateful I am to have you. But I love you immensely and aim to be better at showing you that.
•••
There are more things, but it gets all weird and way too personal and detailed and it's mostly stuff the open internet wouldn't care too much about anyway. The long and short of it is this: 2012 put a period on a lot of things for me. I'm looking to make 2013 the start of the next chapter.
There's a particular Counting Crows song that I always tend to listen to a lot this time of year. It suits the frozen melancholy of a New England winter really well, and in my most depressed of states it speaks to a certain wistful hope for a better future. But it's also a bit passive. So this year I'm going back to my girl Florence. (You can never go wrong with Florence. This is a great truth of my life.) This song lifted me up during some of my darkest moments this year, so it seems a more fitting theme going forward:
It's also where the title of this post comes from.
Whatever kind of 2012 you had, I wish you a successful, awesome, and scary in the best of ways 2013. That's the kind of year I'm aiming to have.
And all of that sort of got me thinking. 2012 has been a rough year. I have this ridiculous apocalypse phobia – always have. Since I was a kid I worried senselessly about seeing the End of Days and being crippled with fear as the skies go black and the seas boil. (I was a melodramatic kid.) So you can imagine how awesome all this Mayan calendar business has been for me. And since I am also blessed with an advanced case of apophenia, every time some lunatic shoots up a public place or a massive hurricane devastates some place or someone starts making nuclear threats the shiny red CRAZY button in the back of my head gets hit.
There's a point to this rambling, I promise.
Is the world ending? Probably not. But in a lot of ways, my personal world as I knew it ended in 2012. I lost my father. The end of my marriage was finalized. Other little things along the way. 2012 was a year of (often painful) endings for me.
So with that in mind, Ive decided to approach this "phoenix in the ashes" style and make 2013 a year of beginnings. I've taken a few hits and been surprised at the fact that I was able to pick myself up and dust myself off. But before my standard of living somehow gets stuck on survive, I want to take charge a little. There are things I want to do. There are things I need to do.
I've never been big on New Year's Resolutions. There's no real reason for this; I'm not morally opposed to them or anything. I just don't do them. So this isn't a list of New Year's Resolutions. This is just... a wish list of sorts, I guess. But it's the kind of wish list where no one can really give you the gifts on it but yourself.
Tara's 2013 Wish List (in no particular order)
• I need to write more. Since my father's death and the post I wrote for him, a lot of people have asked me "why aren't you a writer?" The answer is simple and silly: I have no idea how one becomes a writer. But I'm going to write more and see if I can figure out some way to maybe claim I'm a professional at it.• I need to move! I'm too far from my family, and that needs to change. This one involves a lot of work, but it's time to get to it.
• I have a web series to get off the ground! This one terrifies me, as I know not the first thing about scripting, filming, or editing such a thing. But I've got tons of support of which I shall endeavor to prove worthy. First step is learn how to use this cool-looking camera I now own...
• I need to be a better daughter/sister/aunt. Family, I love you. I don't see you enough, or help you enough, or call enough. You've all been there for me when I needed it and I can never really tell you how grateful I am to have you. But I love you immensely and aim to be better at showing you that.
•••
There are more things, but it gets all weird and way too personal and detailed and it's mostly stuff the open internet wouldn't care too much about anyway. The long and short of it is this: 2012 put a period on a lot of things for me. I'm looking to make 2013 the start of the next chapter.
There's a particular Counting Crows song that I always tend to listen to a lot this time of year. It suits the frozen melancholy of a New England winter really well, and in my most depressed of states it speaks to a certain wistful hope for a better future. But it's also a bit passive. So this year I'm going back to my girl Florence. (You can never go wrong with Florence. This is a great truth of my life.) This song lifted me up during some of my darkest moments this year, so it seems a more fitting theme going forward:
It's also where the title of this post comes from.
Whatever kind of 2012 you had, I wish you a successful, awesome, and scary in the best of ways 2013. That's the kind of year I'm aiming to have.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
I'm (Not) A Slave 4 U
So I've already covered some helpful tips for making the holiday shopping season a less stressful experience for everyone. That was the nice version. This is the slightly less nice, perhaps a little bitter version.
Somewhere along the line it became acceptable – at least in the States – to treat retail and other service workers as somehow less than ourselves. I blame the "customer is always right" mentality. This business strategy has led us to a point where the consumer knows that he or she can literally abuse the employees and rules of any given business and never face any retribution, because heaven forfend that business cost itself a sale or suffer a negative online review. You can complain about almost anything, however ludicrous, and expect to receive an apology and probably a coupon or free item. You can return items past the return date stated on your receipt, or without a receipt, or items that an employee saw you steal, and expect to get a refund. Because if we say "no," you might not shop with us (or steal from us) again.
I'm not saying everyone abuses the system. I'm not saying everyone is a bad customer. But my experience has shown me that an appalling number of people have become so accustomed to being coddled that even the kindest souls simply seem to forget that retail workers are human. So get ready to check your behavior – and if you're guilty of any of these things, think hard about how you'd feel if someone did any of them to you or about the hell you'd raise if a service employee acted similarly toward you.
Let's get into it.
Somewhere along the line it became acceptable – at least in the States – to treat retail and other service workers as somehow less than ourselves. I blame the "customer is always right" mentality. This business strategy has led us to a point where the consumer knows that he or she can literally abuse the employees and rules of any given business and never face any retribution, because heaven forfend that business cost itself a sale or suffer a negative online review. You can complain about almost anything, however ludicrous, and expect to receive an apology and probably a coupon or free item. You can return items past the return date stated on your receipt, or without a receipt, or items that an employee saw you steal, and expect to get a refund. Because if we say "no," you might not shop with us (or steal from us) again.
I'm not saying everyone abuses the system. I'm not saying everyone is a bad customer. But my experience has shown me that an appalling number of people have become so accustomed to being coddled that even the kindest souls simply seem to forget that retail workers are human. So get ready to check your behavior – and if you're guilty of any of these things, think hard about how you'd feel if someone did any of them to you or about the hell you'd raise if a service employee acted similarly toward you.
Let's get into it.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Merry Shopmas!
This is reposted from my now-dormant fashion blog. Happy Thanksgiving!
•••
I'm baaaaaaack!
Well, that's the plan anyway. I work retail and it's late November, and that means my soul will belong to the mall gods for at least the next month, but my intention is to pull this blog back from the netherworld and get back to it.
And I mention the timing not just to make a blatant play for your sympathy, but also because it's topical! Black Friday is staring us down and soon many of us will be fighting the crowds in search of gifts for our loved ones. So in the hopes of making everyone's season a little more merry and a little less Grinchy, I give you:
Before I start, let me say that this list is not just intended to be the grumpy rantings of a retail salesperson. These tips will make your life easier too. Some of them are common sense, some of them are common courtesy, but they're all good things to keep in mind. That said, let's get into it:
•••
I'm baaaaaaack!
Well, that's the plan anyway. I work retail and it's late November, and that means my soul will belong to the mall gods for at least the next month, but my intention is to pull this blog back from the netherworld and get back to it.
And I mention the timing not just to make a blatant play for your sympathy, but also because it's topical! Black Friday is staring us down and soon many of us will be fighting the crowds in search of gifts for our loved ones. So in the hopes of making everyone's season a little more merry and a little less Grinchy, I give you:
Care and Maintenance of Your Retail Associate: A Handy Guide for a Happier Holiday
 |
| No, this is not the new Romero movie. This is your local mall. |
Before I start, let me say that this list is not just intended to be the grumpy rantings of a retail salesperson. These tips will make your life easier too. Some of them are common sense, some of them are common courtesy, but they're all good things to keep in mind. That said, let's get into it:
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